Sunday, April 4, 2010

And Tomorrow Is A New Day

Life has been so weird these last few weeks. I've just been so out of sorts. I've spoken extensively in the past about how I don't always deal with change well. The career change is all kinds of scary, but I've been taking it one step at a time, and up to this point it's been a lot of prep and not a lot of action. But the action is coming! I'm nervous, but at the same time, moving closer and closer to ready. I know that my idea of "normal" will be changing soon, and it's a change that I'm looking forward to in many aspects. I was totally overcome by a warm fuzzy feeling in church this morning when I thought about teaching. I don't just want to be a teacher, I want to be a GOOD teacher. A teacher that makes children love to learn. The teacher that I was blessed to have more than once, who made me feel valued and showed me the value in learning. That's what I want to be. And I know that it will take several years to get there, but it suddenly feels attainable. Like a truly possible future for me, and not just a fairy tale.

I sure have missed reading everyone's blogs. And I knew it! I just knew that after being out of the loop for a few weeks, I would come back to my favorite blogs and everyone would have experienced all kinds of major life changes! Well, not everyone, but a few people! People who are complete strangers to me, but who I somehow have come to care about. They have been in my shoes before (as far as a weight loss journey goes) and that makes me feel like they understand me in ways that some people who know me in real life, never will. I gain comfort from them and TONS of motivation and hope.

So as of tomorrow, I hope to be back to reading the blogs that I follow.

My goals this week are to walk three times, eat healthy portions at dinner, start reading the two education books I've bought, and be prepared to print my job fair things on Saturday. I want to end the weekend physically prepared so that I can spend the week leading up to the job fair getting mentally prepared.

I had another good talk with the hubs tonight. I've come to some interesting realizations recently. Things that I can't post on the blog because... well, I just can't. They are the kind of things that, if I were in therapy, would be total "aha moment"s. But I needed to verbalize them, and as I don't have a journal right now, I wanted to say them to Brett. God blessed us with some tender moments this weekend and I am feeling somewhat cleansed. Not completely because I've eaten too much the last four meals. Go figure. But tomorrow is a new day. And I am feeling kind of tender, but also hopeful. I want to make good choices this week. I want to focus on meaningful things and not trivial things.

I think I will start out by getting to bed at decent time tonight. That means I need to be in bed ten minutes ago. But I'm not too late... so off I go. Hope every had a good weekend.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

I like this post! I think it sounds like you will be a very good teacher...just knowing the difference between being a teacher and a GOOD teacher tells me volumes about the kind of teacher you will be!