Friday, September 11, 2009

The Newlywed Game

One of the hard things about being a newlywed is that sometimes you feel like a total failure... BECAUSE YOU ARE! I don't know how to be married. Why? Because I've never done it before. I love Brett and I always want to consider his feelings and well being with every decision that I make. But I'm not perfect. And I'm not used to being in this kind of partnership. Sometimes I make the wrong decision because I am selfish. Or just ignorant. Or overwhelmed. But I am learning. I hope!

I never intend on making the same mistake twice because I HATE the regret I feel when I realize I have made the wrong decision. But life still happens. If you're not making mistakes then you're not working hard enough. Learning comes from trial and error. I hate the error. But I love the learning. Blah.

I read on someone else's blog this week a few thoughts on trust. He said something along the lines of "trusting someone does not mean that they will never fail you or hurt you. It just means that they won't do it intentionally or in the same way over and over."

I am sure that 20 years from now I will still have days when I feel like a lousy wife. I guess I should say that I HOPE that I will still have those days. I hope that we are still learning and growing together in 20 years. But for today, I'm just ready to be home and in my husbands loving, forgiving arms.

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