Sunday, September 30, 2012

Sphincter Says What?

I felt my first earthquake last night. What? Yupp, an earthquake. Here is the weird thing. I was watching part of Brett's least favorite movie in the world, Independence Day, last night as I was eating dinner and waiting for him to get home. At the beginning of the movie, when the space ships break through the clouds, it for some reason makes the ground shake and Will Smith's girlfriend thinks it is an earthquake. So when I felt it last night, my immediate thought was, "either that was an earthquake, or the aliens are here". True story.

It was an interesting week. I think it's been more than a week since I posted, but that is as far back as I remember. Part of why I didn't post was it's just been busy, but the other reason is that Brett was out of town this weekend. I always spend a lot of time thinking and planning when I know I am going to have some time to myself, so that has been on my mind a lot! But I didn't want to blog about it for safety reasons - probably not best to broadcast when I am going to be home alone, in case the League of Shadows is waiting for the perfect moment to attack!

Originally, my plans were to spend the night with my friend Jenn on Friday and do some garage sale-ing on Saturday. That all changed Monday night when I got a text from her saying that she was miscarrying... again.


I just saw her last Saturday. All we talked about was the baby and how things were looking good this time and it wasn't like last time and she was getting close to the safe zone. And then Monday night. Ugh.

To tell you the truth, I was feeling some anger. Anger is not my go-to emotion. It takes so much energy and accomplishes so little... I just don't pull that out of my bag very often. But after pouring my heart out to God Monday night asking for healing and peace for Jenn and her husband, I didn't feel like talking to God for a few days. I know that is immature. And I didn't even make the connection until this morning. I had been shying away from prayer this week and this morning, when it was time to do some serious praying for some friends who are leaving for the mission field on Tuesday, I stepped back and asked myself where the resistance was coming on. The answer hit me hard.

Anyway... I am back to praying for my dear friend. Some questions just don't have answers. Maybe they will be in answered in heaven, maybe not. Sometimes it feels like an answer wouldn't help anyway.

So. My weekend ended up being pretty consumed by the going away party for the friends that I mentioned. But I still made some time for fun on Friday night. I went and ate on the patio at Rosa's. There was a lovely gentle rain falling so I was the only one outside. I got some funny looks, but it was a completely covered patio, and it felt SO good outside! I think I was the smart one there.

After dinner, I went to see The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and I loved it! It's not for everyone, but I am so happy to say that I liked the film. I will definitely be buying it when it comes out.

At the moment, I am listening to Christmas music and trying not to think about all that I have to do at work this week. I desperately  need to start the week with a positive attitude. I need it to be a productive week. We have a staff meeting tomorrow night, and I'm sure it will be good.

I'm kind of wishing I could call a time out, but that is just not an option right now, and I'm kind of embarrassed for even wanting one. I seem to have lost my momentum somewhere. Seen it laying around anywhere? Let me know!

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Sorry to hear about Jenn. Such sad news. I am glad you had a good weekend, though! Rosa's is the best! They are building one close to our house and I can't wait for it to open so I can go there every day! (Just kidding...kind of.) Love you!