Saturday, August 18, 2012

Week Three - It was a Doozie

This week. Wow. It started out hard, got a little depressing, and is ending with a busy weekend. But I felt better yesterday than I had in days. Literally. Since Monday.

Recently, I resolved to make some changes in my life. I struggle with laziness. I have never been proud of it, but I have a tendency to want to do something positive, and then for whatever reason, be it fear of the unknown, lack of energy or know-how, or getting lost in the busy-ness of life, that positive thing just never happens. I feel like if I wanted it bad enough, I would just do it, but I don't, therefore - lazy. But a few weeks ago, another girl I know was describing her similar situation, but instead of using the word lazy, she said insincere. She would want to change, and then not change, so in her mind, her want was insincere.


Am I not sincere when I say that I don't like being overweight? That I want to be healthier? Am I not sincere when I say that I want to spend more time with God? Read the word, memorize scripture, pray continually. Am I not sincere when I say that I want a strong marriage? (That one hurt a lot.) I hate being lazy, but can I live with being insincere?

That, along with probably 100 other things coming into place, have pushed me into making some changes in my life (as you know, if you're a follower). I've mentioned here that I am back on Weight Watchers, but I am also reading my Bible more, I've made a goal and am taking steps to be more organized at work this year, and I'm getting on top of things in my position as the director of a class at church.

Overall, what I am trying to do is grow. Ever heard of growing pains? Well this week I had 'em! Honestly, I felt like I was under attack. I was struggling with my attitude at work, in ways that I never have before at this job. Brett and I had a long serious talk that was good, but costly, and a few things probably could have been said in a more gentle way. I felt vulnerable, like rubbed raw, from that conversation for most of the week. And then yesterday, donut day was a bummer. I didn't eat a donut but I wanted to. I wanted it in a really annoying way. I made it through the day, which was the end of my Weight Watcher week, and am happy to say that I had a good loss this morning, but I'm just so glad the week is over.

Next week is the first week of school. This morning we had a leadership meeting at church from 8:30-12. Then I went to my favorite 1 year old's birthday party. She actually turns 1 tomorrow. I am SO happy I made it to the party. She is a DOLL! She has the happiest smile... the kind that is infectious and fills you with joy. And the party, which was strawberry themed, was adorable. So stinkin' cute. Jennifer rocked it.

I ran a couple errands after the party, one of them being to go and buy The Hunger Games so the girls in my Sunday School class can come over and watch it tomorrow night. I'm PUMPED about that! I should be finishing my grocery list, but I think that instead I am going to snuggle up to Brett who I can hear in our bedroom gently snoring. Sometimes that is the most relaxing sound.

I have some work to do before Monday as well. Pray for me this week. First week of school can be tricky. I don't feel ready, but hopefully I will get a lot done between church and the movie tomorrow. That's my plan!

Oh! And by the way, water aerobics was great! I will fill you in this week =-)


Jennifer said...

SO glad you had a good loss and even GLADDER (haha) that you came to Emmy's party. We love our Aunt Kimmy. I just realized I didn't say anything about the movie tomorrow night. Lucas will still be here, so I am out. LOVE YOU!

Jennifer said...

Just found your blog- really enjoy your writing.