Sunday, January 15, 2012

It's The End of The World As We Know It, And I Feel Fine

Once again, it has been more than a month since my last post. And honestly, I was hesitant to sit down and blog now. Life is... I don't know. More of the same, but so different.

Praise the Lord, we get wiser as we get older. Wisdom is merely learning from your experiences, so it makes sense that the older we get, the more wisdom we stock up. But Uncle Ben said it best: "With great wisdom comes great responsibility". That's not exactly what Uncle Ben said, but when I have that thought I hear it in his voice talking to Peter about power =-)

So. Older. 30, to be exact. I am thankful for SOOOOO many things in my life. I love my job. 2 years ago, I didn't know if I would ever be able to speak those words. My family is amazing. Everyone is healthy and well. My husband is an amazing man, and becoming more so every day. We both have friends, near and far, that enrich our lives in ways that we will never really be worthy of. We are abundantly blessed.

But I am human. A product of The Fall. Sinful in nature and forever ridiculous. I am not the heaviest I have ever been, but I'm not that far from it. It was the end of January 2011 that my eating got off track. And for most of a year, I did nothing to try and fix it. I wasted a year that I should have spent trying to better my health, and now am in the worst health I have ever experienced. I guess because I am 30, this amount of weight feels different than the last time. More dangerous. And I hate that I am in this place.

I have been working to get to a place mentally that will lead me to physical change. I don't really want to share all of my plans and goals because you've heard it all before. I guess it's a little different this time, and now that I'm typing, it's kind of hard to stop, so I'll say this: Yesterday I signed up for Weight Watchers online. I have always done in person meetings. I didn't think that online would be sufficient accountability for me. But now, online feels like the right tool. Firstly, because it is less than $20 a month, so the price is right for us right now. And secondly, because I couldn't imagine walking into that same meeting and seeing the same leader and her saying "welcome back" with a smile that feels sceptical to me, even if she means it sincerely.

I just joined yesterday and I'm having a lot of fun with the website.

So that covers the food portion of our program. Activity is still in the works. I know that I am going to start walking with Jage on Saturdays. We have a walking date set for next week. Walking has always been my go-to activity, because I enjoy it. But I have come to realize that when it is my only activity, I eventually dread it. I need variety. They say that the key to regular exercise is finding an activity that you enjoy. When I think about that I know what I want to do... dance! I have always been a big girl, but I love to dance. I can't help but move when I hear certain songs. There is a studio in Irving that offers adult dance classes, so I will probably check out that website, but for now, I think I am going to make a playlist and have a little "dance party" in my room once a week. We'll see.

Brett and I are also serious about getting our finances under control this year. We have found some wonderful financial software that helps us track and plan, and I am feeling the most optimistic that I ever have.

I hope to blog more. I'm thinking that being online everyday to track my points will bring me more opportunities to blog. I just don't use my computer like I used to.

I hope everyone's year is off to a good start!


Marie said...

:) I love you and am proud of you. And if you moved closer we could have a weekly dance party together! Thanks for reminding and encouraging me on my own journey of getting healthy because life is too short to hate things about myself.

kevin21 said...
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