Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Ready for Fall, and Other Random Thoughts

If you haven't heard, we had some really nice weather in the Dallas area last week. After what felt like an eternity of over hot days this summer, like the pool wasn't fun because it felt like a hot tub, we had some blessedly sweet, cooler days last week. It. Was. Awesome. Mornings in the 70s. Swoon!

Well today, last week almost seemed like a dream when I had to get on the intercom this afternoon and say "Hey teachers, just wanted to let you know it is too hot to go outside today. I'm so sorry, it is tooooo hot."

We can't go outside if the heat index is 103 degrees or higher. The temp this afternoon was 106. With the "wind chill", the heat index was exactly 103. Boo.

I am SO ready for the fall! My mind is a strange little thing. Something about the cooler air and watching the leaves die so elegantly and beautifully, really wakes up my soul. A crisp fall air, frankly, takes me back to some of my happiest memories. The smell of winter approaching is something that I value in a very profound way.

I hate to say this, but I've been struggling mentally lately. I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be one of those "sad" people, that friends don't look forward to catching up with because they always have something to complain about. And honestly, I don't have anything to complain about. I am abundantly blessed, and I'm not going to pretend otherwise. But sometimes I struggle...

I struggle with not knowing the future. I believe so completely that I serve a God that loves me incredibly and deeply and that he has a plan for my life. That is ABSOLUTELY enough. But, being a planner myself, I struggle with being satisfied with the unknowns.

I am also struggling with facing the same struggles. Frustrated doesn't accurately describe how I'm feeling, though it can be extremely frustrating when I find myself OVER AND OVER AGAIN making the same mistakes and choosing the same bad choices. Why do I experience the same failures over and over again? When am I going to grow up and be smarter? Will I ever? Please say yes. I don't want to die this way.

Okay, enough drama. I sincerely hope that my next post will be less whiny. For all of our sakes ;-)

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

I miss you. Come see me. NOW! Emily wants her aunt! She's been asking for you every day.