Monday, June 6, 2011

The Lost Blog, Plus One

I couldn't believe it last night when my blog didn't post. I FINALLY posted, and I was hoping for it to be therapeutic... get some things off my chest. But if the blog doesn't post, it's not OFF my chest! It's all still there! Ugh!

A few highlights from yesterdays blog: I made a collage of my mom this weekend. I have five 11x14 frames that I bought from a dollar store a few years ago and completely forgot about. Well I have been feeling crafty, so I decided to make some collages. I did one a month or so ago of my sisters and I. The mom collage is a couple of pictures that my grandmother gave me when I helped her move several years ago. She is probably 6 in one and 16 in the other. I love them. Not sure what I will do with the other three frames, but I have some new paper that I am itching to use.

Last week was a rough one. Summer is tough in the office at school. And last week was crazy because it was summer for us, but the last week of the year for public school. This made several complications for us that aren't worth getting into here. But I was relieved when the week was over. And in addition to the crazy work week, my allergies were going crazy, and Brett and I had a... I don't know what to call it. Ya know, one of those conversations that comes along once in a while that are ultimately good for the relationship because they inspire positive change, but at the time are incredibly difficult for one or both of the members to hear. I'm honesty still feeling a little tender.

It's hard to say why my weekend was a hard one. I was exhausted last Friday. I mean physically, mentally and emotionally drained. I had nothing left. I can't remember what we did Friday night, but I have no doubt it was low key. Saturday morning I slept pretty late. I needed to just be in bed. And Saturday and Sunday were okay. But last night I ate too much at dinner and it really messed me up. I am incredibly unhappy with my choices lately where food is involved. I finally have a wardrobe that I am happy with but I am not happy with my size. Poor clothes... they deserve a cuter owner. I'm embarrassed by how I look and too many times in the last month I have eaten until I felt sick. That shouldn't happen ever and it is an extremely bad sign for me. I used to live like that every day and I am terrified to be that person again. But I sit here right now typing and I can't begin to tell you how badly I want some ice cream. Real bad. Not good. Sigh.

I want to make better choices. I sincerely do. And I am desperately hoping that when we get paid this week, we will have money to spend some extra money on groceries. For me, the key to making good food choices is having good choices available. Food that is healthy but tastes good and is comforting in a healthy way.

The highlight of my weekend was, without a doubt, Sunday lunch where we found out my sister is having a boy =-) She had a gender party. Her sonogram was Thursday. The sonogram technician kept the screen facing away from Mel and JD and she called the bakery and told them the sex of the baby. Then the baker made a double layer cake and inside the cake, there was icing between the two layers. Pink for girl, blue for boy. Our cake was blue for boy =-) It's the first boy in the family so Melanie is nervous, but we are all so excited. My dad's first grandson!!!

Today was not really better. Work was so hard. I mean, so hard. It felt like my first summer all over again. There is just SO much going on and I feel very uniformed, but I feel like I am expected to understand and know what is going on. It's not a comfortable spot to be in. But I am determined to go in with a good attitude tomorrow. I can't spend the summer like this.

I hope all of my teacher friends had a great first day of summer. I would love your prayers... I am in need of deliverance. From my attitude, my sorrows and my sins. Here's hoping for a better tomorrow!

This blog better publish!

1 comment:

Marie said...

Praying for you sweet sister! Let's talk before I go to camp next week. I'll call you. :)