So...

Weekly Weigh In? Didn't happen. I know. What can I say? I just didn't want to face it this week. But I think I've talked enough about that.

My question tonight is, how can someone spend so much time thinking about healthy eating and so little time actually eating healthily? I am such a time waster. I've spent so much time lately thinking about changes that I need to make. The thing is, I don't really know yet how to go about making those changes. They need to be long term, ya know? Permanent. I rely on food as much as I rely on... well anything. It's like asking someone to go a week without breathing. Okay, that's an exaggeration. I don't abuse food daily... I don't escape to it constantly. But even when I'm not abusing it, I'm not using it well these days.

One of the keys to success for me, when I have experienced periods of success, is to NOT think about foods that I can't eat (or have chosen not to eat) but focus on what I CAN eat. Foods that are appetizing and healthy. Good and good for me. Like fruit. I love mixed fruit! All kinds of combos, but my favorite is probably kiwi, strawberries and purple grapes. I also love oranges, golden delicious apples, bananas, watermelon, pineapple, a good ripe peach or plum. Lots of fruit. If I liked as many veggies as I did fruits, I'd be one lucky girl!

Tonight, we saw part of the episode of Good Eats where Alton talks about how he changed his eating habits and lost all that weight. He was never a big guy, just kind of thick. Now he kind of looks like Cane from Poltergeist. Scary. But he seems happy and healthy. We missed the beginning, but when we tuned in he was talking about his 4 food lists. Foods that he eats everyday, foods that he eats three times a week, foods that he eats once a week and foods that he never eats. This is exactly what I've been thinking of. All week, I've been thinking that I should make lists for breakfast and lunch like we did for dinner. (Speaking of our dinner list, we didn't do a very good job of following the calendar our first week... but that means we won't have as many groceries to buy this week, and I am confident that week two will go much more closer to plan!)

I know that people say that it's important to include variety in your eating choices. Frankly, if I don't plan it out, I will eat the same thing over and over. I need to vary my healthy food choices because when I don't, I seek out NOT healthy things, like anything from a drive thru, when I get tired of my routine.

I want to sit down and actually write a list. Or two. I would like to make time to do that this weekend. There are some things that I know that I need to eliminate completely. It's pretty much unrealistic to think that I can never again consume fast food... circumstances arise, and seriously... the show must go on. But maybe I could try to take a vacation from certain foods. I don't know... I'm tired and starting to ramble. It's just something that has been floating around in my mind. When we laid down for bed tonight it came to the forefront and I thought I should get a few ramblings out to start clarifying my thoughts.

I really am ready for a change. At least I want to be ready. I need a plan. Something that I can do every day. The fact that I am finding inspiration and ideas around every little corner tells me that I am getting to a place mentally where I am ready to be serious. Getting there. Not quite there completely.

How can I ever be a mom if I'm not healthy? I think about that a lot. I have WAAAY too much to say about it, so I'll stop there. But it's a factor.

I want to be a better wife. I want to be an active teacher. And I want to feel better. I ate too much tonight, and it wasn't even food that I enjoyed. That is what I have noticed a lot lately. I'm eating too much and not enjoying my food. Rarely enjoying my food. Whatever is in front of me, I seem to eat too much. Sometimes without even thinking about it. Seriously, almost on accident even. Last Saturday, after I ate lunch, I was like "what just happened"? It was a disaster. And I felt gross. I also look really bad. Spring is coming. Do you understand the cuteness that is Spring fashion? I want to be a part of it!

Sigh.

I know I've been a Wally Whiner lately. I'm just trying to find my way.

I would LOVE to hear healthy foods that you try to include in your diet. And for what reason. What does it add to your day, nutrient wise? Please! Inquiring minds want to know!