What is my problem? All day I think about how I want to be in my husbands arms, but when I get home I settle for a quick hug and kiss and then I'm off to the kitchen to make dinner. I know that he wishes that I paid him more attention in the evenings. But when I get home, I'm HUNGRY! I'm also tired. So the sooner I make dinner, the sooner I can sit, fixing the tired, and eat, fixing the hunger. Funny how MY solutions always seem to lead to more obstacles?
My food was okay today. Portions wise, right on track, but stats wise, could have been better. We don't have a great "healthy dinner" lineup yet. It's something that we talk about a lot but seem to never take the time or money to invest in exploring new options. So my food during the day is pretty good because I can control exactly what I am eating. I buy the groceries for ME so I give myself good options. But then I eat a dinner that hurts me a bit. I eat measured portions so I'm not getting carried away, but when a half a cup of stuffing is 175 calories, it ads a lot to the plate. And dinner tonight was not even fantastic... just okay.
Tonight was rough. I'm feeling a lot of pressure. Whether it is self imposed or not is, frankly, irrelevant – I'm feeling it. And I wish I were doing better. Today is only Monday so there is still a lot of potential for growth and improvement this week, but please Lord, let tonight be the low point.
One of the toughest things about being in a marriage is that when you fail, you're not just letting yourself down, you're letting your partner down as well. I am so thankful for a husband who loves me unconditionally. Who will wait patiently (most of the time =-) while I flit around and "finish my day" so that I can be in his arms. I pray there will never be a day that I make him wait too long and his arms are no longer available.
I'm putting this day to bed. Hope your week started well!
1 comment:
I totally understand the battle. It's very real. And makes for a long day. And it does impact those closest to us. Here's a verse that I c.l.i.n.g. to:
"When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I am!" Psalm 61:2
I'll be praying this verse for you. Keep it up! Change is hard, but change from the Lord is the lasting kind! And, the kind of change that brings freedom!
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