And the world stopped.
How?
How can anyone understand something like this? A baby who was born small, but healthy, only to live a few months at home and then to live a few months in the hospital and one day just stop.
How do Jeff and Karen recover? After years of trying to have a baby they are overcome with joy to find themselves pregnant and then nine months later to find themselves parents. And then 5 months and 13 days later they find themselves childless.
Seriously. How do people recover from things like this? I've always asked the question and always prayed that I would never have to find out the answer.
I know that some of you have prayed for Jeff and Karen. I thank you for your prayers and I ask for them one more time. For recovery. Somehow.
It kind of turned my day around yesterday. I was hungry, like I was the day before, and making mental lists of what to buy and how to eat to make my days bearable. And then I got an email from Jeff. There has been such a big network of people praying for this baby, they have used emails to keep everyone informed. It was just the easiest way to get the world out. That was about 3:00 or so. The rest of my day was kind of a blur. My eats were okay, but over my goal, and I can't say that it really mattered to me...
I really don't know what to say. We are going to honor her life at a memorial service on Monday and then I will move on, while Jeff an Karen... somehow find a way to exist?
I am thankful that my God is sovereign and that his plan IS for good.
2 comments:
kim, i found your blog through kelly's blog.
i don't understand any of this either. it almost seems cruel, but i know our LORD is not cruel. i can't understand why He allowed this to happen. there are so many people in the world who don't want children and abort them, or who give them away. and then there are people like jeff and karen, two of our best friends, who prayed urgently for a child. why couldn't this have happened to someone else? why send a miracle to earth and then take her away? oh, how my heart is breaking!
when she first was admitted to the hospital, i prayed for peace and healing. and i just had a feeling that everything was going to be all right.
i guess God's version of all right is not the same as mine. i have to trust that He knows what He's doing, because otherwise it would be just too much for me to handle. but i don't understand it. and i probably never will.
I was thinking about how I don't understand and can't relate to what they are feeling... there just aren't words to say. And then I realized that we serve a God who DOES understand what it feels like to lose a child. He is the ultimate comforter and healer... I trust that He will be faithful to do those things...
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