Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Birthday To Me =-)

It was a weekend full of blessings. I received birthday wishes from a couple dozen sweet friends, I got to see my entire family (except JD, he had a softball game) and my husband was incredibly generous. Of course, we spent so much this weekend, he is cringing at his bank balance, but he doesn't regret any of the birthday activities.

I will start with Friday night. We shopped a little, not finding everything that we wanted, but getting what we needed most, a present for his mom. And then we had a tasty dinner at Boston's Pizza Kitchen. A place that is special to us because it was the site of our engagement dinner celebration.

Saturday was great! We slept in a bit, got semi-gussied up, went for lunch at one of my fav fast food places, Chick-fil-a, and then headed to Fair Park to see Rent. The musical is every bit as good as I remembered, (I cried WAY too much when Angel died. I mean, it was a little out of control) and I am so happy that we were able to see it with the two original leads. Adam Pascal is unique and talented, but Anthony Rapp... HELLO! Talk about passion. He was... well... he was exceptional. I have always been a fan ("Stray Dog"... you are too cute!) but now I have experienced him on a whole new level. I bought his book after the show and I am enjoying reading it very much.

After the show we headed to I Fratelli's. It's no Macaroni Grill, but I love that chicken parmesan. It feels homey. And it makes me think of Jennifer, who I love with all of my heart. After dinner we ran a few fun errands... shopped around a little. Found a cookbook that we have been looking for in good condition. Got some tasty Starbucks. And then came home to watch Star Trek VI, which I enjoyed very much.

Today we had planned to visit First Baptist. Last night though, when we were getting ready for bed I asked Brett if we could postpone our visit until next week so I could sleep in. I was so tired. I am still tired. My body is tired, and last night, my head and my heart were tired. A couple of people called me fat while we were at Target and it made me sad. Actually, I was called "gorda" by a little boy who was too young to know that people don't like when others notice their extreme girth, and "wide load" by a man who had a wife who was AT LEAST my size. It's silly that I get so upset when people call me names. I'm huge. It's not like I don't know that others notice it. But it always makes me feel like an outcast. Being singled out for the thing that I am most ashamed of... most regretful for. And it was worse yesterday because I was wearing my favorite dress. I NEVER dress up. I don't like to put on nice things because I think that I look stupid. Like someone trying to disguise an obvious deformity, because as cute as the dress is, it can't make ME cute. That's extreme, (my WW leader would be all over me if she heard that kind of negative talk) I know, but it's honestly how I feel sometimes. So I hardly ever dress up. And I like this dress. It's even flattering from the front. Another man at Target pointed it out to his wife and told her he liked my dress. But not mister "wide load". Anyway. I needed a solid 8 hours in my husbands arms and a night of restful sleep, with no alarms, to refuel me and wash away a bad ending to what was a really nice day.

So today we slept in and then took Brett's mom to lunch. It was good to see her. I got to see her adorable hair cut, and she seemed healthy and happy, which isn't always the case. Then we went to Weight Watchers. Then we came home and Brett napped while I ready my new book. And then I went to my parent's house for dinner to celebrate Mother's Day and my birthday. It was so good to see my family all together. I wish that my grandmother had come over. I need to call her tomorrow. I should take her flowers...

After dinner, we grocery shopped and it was exhausting. I'm ready for bed! But I wanted to post before Rent started to fade in my mind. I'm not much for memory, and I am so thankful that I experienced it again.

Thank you to everyone who texted me birthday wishes. Special thanks to Jeff Moss who gave the best "Happy Birthday" song I've ever had. Love you and miss you, friend.


Marie said...

Sounds like a full and exhausting weekend. Sorry it ended on a downer note. But I'm proud of you for doing something about your weight. WW is a great program. Wish I had the capacity to count points in my daily life. Hey.. maybe we can be long distance workout buddies?? Whatcha think??

Kriss said...

I am so sorry about the awful comments. Sweetie you are not huge and the best part is your trying to lose it! I know the feeling of being heavy, when I was going through infertility I gained alot of weight. At my heaviest I was 235 pounds, but thankfully was able to lose about 75 pounds doing WW and eating very healthy. I am positve you can do the same thing and be happy once again with your size. Keep your chin up! -Kriss
(Ps. I have an adoption journal under my profile that tells more about me, I also have a private blog that if you would like to be a reader send me your email, to - I figured that was fair since I am a reader of yours. :)