Monday, September 29, 2014

Why All the Silence

Goodness gracious. Sheryl Crow had it right - every day is a winding road! There is probably a quote out there that would make me sound a lot more "deep", but what can I say... I'm a child of the 90s.

I blog in my head all the time. I just have so much to say... it's hard to get it on screen.

Life has been so full of twists and turns. Honestly, I've been battling depression. Every day is a little tricky. I have to examine every thought, and turn from the ones that pull me towards me instead of point me to God... it's a struggle. And some days, I lose. But not every day is bad.

Here is where we are.

Brett is still job hunting. What we have been praying, some days, feels so far away. We love our current church. We would really love to stay. But Brett is looking for church work. So if he doesn't get hired at our church, and finds an opportunity at another church, well then... it's sad to think of leaving, but some days it feels like that is where God is leading us. Away. Away from the friends we have made and the rooms that are finally familiar. I have to remind myself that following God will sometimes move us, but as long as we are moving towards Him, "away" doesn't have to be scary.

Finances are still a struggle. I don't make enough to support us. Every month we trust God to provide, and every month he does. Mostly through my family. Also through side jobs that have come my way here and there. I hate worrying about money. I try really hard not to. But it seems to always be in the back of my head.

Spiritually, God has been refining me. Not with a chisel, taking out large chunks here and there, but with sand paper. Smoothing down rough edges with a gentleness that is incredibly reassuring. I need to make some changes. And I'm trying. I went a few weeks making really healthy choices. Even exercising a little. But I've sort of fallen off the wagon. I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I hoped that today, but I got to work and there were brownies and candy corn on the counter. I did not resist. At least, not for very long. And dinner was a mess. But tomorrow is another day.

Craft fair season is coming up. It's time to get focused! My first one is only a few weeks away. I'm not too worried because I have some product built up that I can take, but it's stashed away because of the move. I need to get everything out and do some sorting and envisioning the display. I am going to a couple of craft fairs this Saturday, so that will be a big help! This week I'm focused on a couple of design jobs. I have a logo to do that I am TOTALLY dragging my feet on because I'm just not crazy about the concept. And I have an invitation to do that will probably be fun, I just have to get through the logo first.

I know this wasn't a very exciting post, but I just wanted to say that I'm okay. Mostly okay =-)

That is all.

1 comment:

Marie said...

Glad to hear it. Keeping you in my prayers even if you don't hear from me! :)