Friday, January 29, 2010

Mood Swing

I feel lonely now.

I got hung up on and it made me sad. It's crazy how one thing can ruin my day. But I'm kind of glad that those "one thing"s happen now and then because it reminds me to always be courteous and kind to people because it works the other way too. One smile can totally make someone's day.

She wasn't being rude, she just hung up while I was trying to thank her for checking to see if I have a package waiting in the office. In a hurry I guess. But doesn't that make you feel insignificant? It does me. My two second thank you isn't important enough for her?

I'm being a baby.

But I was INCHES away from grabbing one of those cupcakes to make me feel better. But of course it wouldn't make me feel better. I know that good and well. It would just be a thirty second relief. Literally only 30 seconds because they are mini cupcakes. haha.

Not worth it.

Will I ever be past this? Or further along? Will I ever be a size 14 wishing I could eat a cupcake? I have never been that small. I would love to be that small. I would love to be able to shop in regular stores. But consoling myself with cupcakes won't get me there.

So I'm praying for a swift afternoon. Which I also feel guilty about. I should be thankful for the time I have, not annoyed by it. But I don't want to be here. I want to be at home in bed with Brett watching a movie or napping. And I won't be able to do that tomorrow because I have class all day, or the next day because we have church all day, or the next day or the next day. Sigh. Three more weeks til our vacation. It's got plenty of activity scheduled already because I will be doing classroom observations at least 3 days. But I have declared that we have one day where we don't get out of bed. I need it.

Stupid cupcakes. Why do they have to be so loud??? I can hear them calling from the other side of the building!

1 comment:

Marie said...

ear plugs.. you need ear plugs so you don't hear the cupcakes calling. Or just hear me saying "Put it down! Step away from the cupcake of doom! Now, do it now and step away.".

Love you!