A Bit of Humor For You

This is from the book I am reading as part of our premarital counseling. It was part of the intro on the chapter about submission. I have been wanting to share it all week. It might blow your mind a little. The () are my comments. Can't help it.

Back in 1955, in a magazine called Housekeeping Monthly, an article for women appeared in the May 13 edition. It was titled "The Good Wife's Guide," and it outlined, in detail, the unique role a wife should play in a healthy marriage. Here are some of those tips for being a "good wife" – at least in the 1950s:

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. (Okay, it starts out not too crazy. I love having dinner ready for Brett when he gets home. And I do hope that it is one of those little things that lets him know that he is always on my mind and that I want him to be provided for.)

• Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair, and be fresh looking. (Uh huh. I'm sure that after 8 hours of work and then coming home to do laundry, clean the apartment, take out trash, do dishes and make dinner, a ribbon in my hair would make me look "fresh".)

• Be a little gay and little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

• Clear away the clutter. Take one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc., and then run a dust cloth over the tables. (I have to be honest. Part of why I want the apartment clean is for his benefit, but it is just as much for mine. The dishes and shoes everywhere and stacks of madness don't seem to bother him as much as they do me. So I HOPE that he enjoys the apartment more when it is clean, but I would do that for me regardless.)

• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. After all, catering for his comfort will provided you with immense personal satisfaction. (Okay... I think it's true for everyone that when you provide for and comfort your partner, it is satisfying, but light a fire? What am I, Smokey the Bear?)

• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures, and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum cleaner. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. (I do think smiles count... for everyone, not just your husband.)

• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. (hahahahahaha. And one more thing. HA!)

• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or to other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. (hmm... his very real need to be at home and relax... after going out to dinner and "places of entertainment" without me?)

• Don't complain if he's home late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. ("gone through all day"? Um... what was he going through all night when he didn't come home?)

• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing, and pleasant voice. (Well, I don't really arrange pillows and if I tried to take off Brett's shoes, he would think I had gone crazy. But I do like to have a Dr. Pepper ready for him when he gets home. Or an orange crush or water... whatever tickles his fancy. I want to "make him comfortable" at the end of the day because I want to BE comfortable at the end of the day. I rub his back, he rubs mine. That kind of thing.)

• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. (No right to question him. Brett is marrying a partner. Not a secretary.)