Sunday, December 28, 2008

My Last Single Christmas

I've been doing that a lot lately. "This is my last single _____". Sometimes it's silly. Like the last time that I will spend an entire day at home, my parents home, in my pajamas. (I did that today... I'm sick). Or the last time (hopefully) that I will spend half the night in my parents bathroom. (Did that two nights ago... I'm sick). Funny how silly, everyday things become special when they are soon to be a thing of the past. But this was a big one. My last Single Christmas. My last Christmas Eve to sit up with my sisters and arrange Madi's presents from Santa. My last Christmas Eve with my sisters. Makes me cry just to think about it. hehe... I'm such a girl!

When Madi turned 1 in 2003, she and my sisters and I had our picture taken. We did that again this year because Melanie and I are getting married in 2009. This was our last year to all be single together. We are growing up. How can something so special and full of hope be, at the same time, so painful. My sisters are more than my best friends, they are like an extension of myself. I am fascinated by how we are alike, and even more so by how we are different. How can 4 girls who were raised in the same house, by the same parents, and are so close in age, be so different? We share similarities, we all talk alike and we laugh alike, we have very similar smiles and matching eyes. But we are different in so many ways. We have different strengths and weaknesses. Different preferences. Sometimes I wish that I could take pieces of my sisters for myself. Like Melanie's timing. No one can pace a conversation like Melanie. She is so smart and so funny and she notices everything. Or Laura's ease with children. Kids love her! No matter who it is, Laura always knows exactly what to do to make a child, not only feel safe with her, but enjoy her immensely! And Jenna can be so tactful. She tells the funniest stories about subbing. She is subbing long term for a middle school special-ed math class. Talk about crazy situations! But she always seems to say the right thing. Jenna is so confident when she is good at something.

I will always love my sisters. And in some ways, the older we get, the closer we get. Age differences always matter less when you are older, because people pretty much experience all the same things in their twenties. But in other, more tangible ways, the older we get, we seem to grow further apart. Because we are creating separate lives. Next year, Santa won't come to my parent's house. He will visit Madi at home, with Melanie and JD. And when I leave my uncle's house on Christmas Eve, our favorite family tradition, I will go home with Brett.

I am happy that I am getting married this year. But there are a lot of experiences that will be bitter sweet.

Speaking of getting married this year, the 3 month mark came and went without me noticing it! I had so much to do to get ready for Christmas, when the 21st came, I didn't realize it. So the wedding is now LESS than 3 months away. I freaked out a little when the "less than 3 months" thing occurred to me, but now that Christmas has come and gone, I am ready for action!

Brett and I are signing our lease on Monday, and he will move into our apartment 3 weeks from yesterday. I am house sitting, one last time, at my favorite house in Dallas starting this Wednesday. I will have 5 nights in that house, and I intend to use them well. By this time next week, I plan on having a wedding blog, a doctor's appointment scheduled, an informed wedding party, and a new dresser, which is the only piece of furniture that is crucial that we buy before the move. Well, to be fair, we already have a dresser. Sort of. Brett has some furniture, that if worst comes to worst, we can keep and use until we replace them. But I have to be honest. I am a furniture snob. It's important to me that I come home and LIKE the place that I live in. The aesthetics of my home matter. Just to me. I'm not out to impress anyone. I just have to like it. And I am willing to use my Christmas money and house sitting money to buy a dresser that will make me feel peaceful when I look at it.

We also need a dining room table and chairs, 2 bookcases (one large to match the 2 that Brett owns now, and one smaller one for me), nightstands and at some point, a coffee table, though we will probably just get a leather ottoman for that. In fact, the one that we liked at Target is on sale this week. I may go ahead and snag it while that is the case.

I officially have every address that we need and we are WAY over our limit on guests. But not everyone will come. That's all I can say about that. One more word and my nervous laughter will drown out my reassurances.

Well, I have more to say, but something just came up. That's typically how things in my life are right now. I keep making plans and then something jumps up to change them. But so it goes. I'm off!

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