Silly Kim

I know it's silly to be nervous about this Open House, because in the grand scheme of things, it's just not that big of a deal. The thing is, I've never done anything like this before. I feel like I am making myself vulnerable and putting MYSELF out on display, not just these products. They are just crafts. They don't define me, obviously! (It sounds incredibly melodramatic to even think about using the word define).

The thing is, I have worked really hard on this. I have spent a lot of money and a LOT of time, time away from Brett, away from my family, even some time away from work, to put together these things that I am going to turn around and ask someone to buy. Placing a monetary value on these items and putting them up for sale constitutes me professing that they do in fact HAVE value. That I believe that something I made, with my own two hands, is worth something. Is valuable.

Well what if no one else thinks so? What if I sit at that table for 3 hours and people just pass me by? What if I don't sell a single book or a single ornament? How disappointed will I be? Or embarrassed?

No matter what happens on Sunday, I don't think I will regret being a part of this. Best case scenario, I will sell my products, give out all of my brochures and create a small client base that will enable me to have a string of scrapbook projects to work on, providing me with a creative outlet and affirmation of my talents. (How's that for a run-on sentence, ay?) I would feel good about myself if I could have this semi business on the side that let me do what I enjoy and buy a few tanks of gas a month. Worst case scenario, no one will buy a thing and I will come home with books and Christmas ornaments that I will have to try to give away as gifts.

Neither scenario is terrible. But I can't help but be nervous.

That's my admission. I hate feeling vulnerable, and I HATE admitting that I feel that way. But there you go. I needed to say it out loud (type it, same thing) so I would stop obsessing.

I will let you know how it goes. Hopefully in a positive blog post, but possibly in a Christmas ornament that I gift because I have so many!