Remember the Time...

I must be more tired than I realized because, now that I am trying to post a blog, I can't seem to make sense of any of my thoughts. But I did something really cool tonight, so I want to talk about it! Forgive my ramblings... bare with me!

I spent an hour or so tonight looking through a box of pictures that I haven't been through in quite some time! I have a couple of picture projects that I need to start working on, and Brett is in Waxahachie with one of his BFFs, Gary, whose wife is out of town for the weekend, so I decided to get started. It was amazing! So many wonderful pictures of wonderful memories that I had forgotten about.

I'm a pretty sentimental gal and the whole wedding thing has kind of kicked all of that into high gear. I remember the summer before I left for my freshman year of college. Everything that I did seemed to have meaning. Nothing was insignificant because it all felt so final. I knew that I was closing a chapter of my life and preparing to begin a new one. My home was beginning to feel less like home and more like a temporary resting place. Well, now, I am back at home, which I never thought in a million years would be the case, and I am again preparing to begin a new chapter of my life. The wedding is a little less than 6 months away and my nights in the house are numbered. Occasionally that thought brings me relief, often it brings me anxiety, but right now, at this moment, it is almost hard to wrap my head around. I am feeling like I did 9 years ago when I was 18 and shopping for dorm decorations. I feel vulnerable because I have no idea what to expect and I am fully aware that I can not even come close to being fully prepared. I am feeling a little brave for taking such a huge leap of faith. Faith in God, that he has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, faith in myself that I am following God's will and not my own, and faith in Brett that he is going to take care of me and love me for the rest of my life. (A tall order!) And I am also feeling a little sad. Sad about saying goodbye to a life that has brought me so much joy.

Being single is not always easy. In fact, it is mostly not easy. When you are single there is no one around to share your responsibilities. Every decision is yours and yours alone and every consequence that comes from a bad decision will be carried 100% by you.

But my years as a single adult have been full of blessings. Full of trials and tribulations, of course, but also full of blessings. And looking at those pictures tonight made me so thankful. Thankful for every roommate I have ever had. Thankful for every trip I have ever taken. Thankful for every laugh I have shared with my family... it is hard to let go.

But that's life. People change and people move on. My single girlfriends will still be my friends after we are all married. And the old pictures, from college and from Christmas parties and birthday parties and Halloween parties, will be replaced by new pictures. Pictures of wedding showers and house warming parties and baby showers.

At least that is what I am telling myself.