A Jamie and Jennifer Song

Tonight while I was cleaning my room and reflecting on how amazing and loving our God is I found myself singing a Jamie and Jennifer song. Jamie and Jennifer are a husband and wife singing duo who led worship at youth camp for Plymouth Park my 8th grade year. They were sweet and fun and had a genuine impact on my life. They came back to our camp a second time when I was a senior, but this time they were part of a band called Forever After. They had a new funky vibe and were a little less my style, but still impacted my life in a very real way. This song is from Jamie and Jennifer, not Forever After, and I find myself singing it now and then. It's not one that Jeff and I sing when we reminisce, but it should be. It says:

You've turned my mourning into dancing again.
You've lifted my sorrow.
I can't stay silent.
I must sing for the joy has come.

It's a simple chorus that repeats several times. If there is more to the song, I have long since forgotten it, but this I have always remembered. Tonight it was the song of my heart.

Not that I have been in mourning, but I have been trying to master some fears. I am struggling with old sins and fighting old fights, but I am also up against some new opponents. Opponents that I have always known I would someday encounter, but also some that are completely foreign to me, that I never imagined I would face. I have felt unprepared and ill equipped. And in some ways that is a good thing because my only defense has been to rely fully on God. Years ago, I grasped the concept of praising God through the storm. God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good. But joy? Joy when I am watching the lives of people around me crumble. People who I love. Love deeply enough that their sorrow is my sorrow. How can I be joyful through their tears?

But God has been gracious. He has been so obviously in control of my life lately. He has not been waiting in the quiet after the storm, He has been thundering through and making his presence known. And every time that He meets a need I am reminded that He is not only control, He is a loving God. He has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Plans to give us hope and a future. I am facing some mighty battles in my life, but I serve a mighty warrior. In Exodus, Moses told the Israelites, "The Lord will do your fighting for you. You need only to stand still". The God of the Israelites is still alive today and he is still fighting for his people. Sometimes He asks us to fight, but sometimes He just asks us not to run. To stand in our faith so that He may fight for us and be glorified.

And I know that if God can save me, in my sin and stupidity, He can and will save my loved ones as well. That is where the joy comes from. Not in the circumstances of today but in the promises He brings.

So I will not fear my wedding budget, because God is in control.
I will not fear my grocery list, because God is in control.
I will not fear my abilities as a wife, because God is in control.
I will not fear for those who I love that are struggling, because God is in control.

Lord, please forgive my fears. Holy Spirit, help me to be obedient.