Weekly Weigh In 4.30.10

239.4

Isn't it crazy how when I have a gain I tend to be thankful that it is not as much as I expected, but when I have a loss my first thought is always that I should have done better? What is wrong with me??? I think that I am just frustrated that the number is so high. I need to keep moving in the right direction.

Down 1.6 from last week. And this week I definitely earned the loss. My food has been pretty good all week. I still wish I hadn't had that second taco on Tuesday, and last weekend was the usual overindulgence (UGH!) but other than that, pretty good. And I have walked every day since Saturday. I ended up deciding that I had just enough time to get a walk in before I headed out to McKinney to see my chicas. Guess what? The park is SO not crowded at 5:30! Good to know! Hehe... and I jogged a little. Not much. 115 steps, two different times. It's all I could do. Why does jogging always sound easier than super fast walking? When I'm getting towards the end and have slowed my pace down drastically, I just can't get my feet to walk faster. But sometimes I jog the last little bit back to my car. Why is that?

I won't be walking today because it's Friday and my husband deserves my full attention. I know that he is supportive of my trying to make healthy changes, but I think it's kind of frustrating for him to see me walk out the door so often. I love you honey. I can't do this without you. Thank you for believing that that isn't the case. I know that you think I can do anything, but that is only true when I have you to lean on.

So, I know that I say this every Friday, but I REALLY want for THIS weekend to be the first weekend where I don't lost control eating. We don't have much money so we will be eating out tonight and Sunday lunch, like usual, but probably not somewhere where I will be tempted to overindulge like crazy.

I am thankful for a loss this week, but I am frustrated over all of this up and down mess. I feel serious... so I want to BE serious! All of the time, not just from Monday morning til 5:00 Friday.

Hope everyone's weekend starts out well! Special happy thoughts going out to Jamie who will be shopping for a new casa this weekend. I hope that is more fun than frustrating!!! And SUPER special thoughts to my BFF Jeff who has fun plans tonight =-) Love you!

Peace out playas!

Another Walk In The Park

I was so tired tonight. Walking didn't sound exciting. But I knew that it was just my mind, and not my body that was tired. So I was hoping a nice walk would awaken my mind. Or at least relax it. haha... not so much. I'm still tired. I only walked the half loop tonight. It was later than usual because I made three dinners tonight instead of one. I have plans tomorrow night and had something I wanted to make Brett for dinner. And because we were short on an ingredient, we were eating similar, but different dinners tonight. I thought that I could plan it so that all three dinners would be done at the same time, but that didn't happen! Brett's dinner and tomorrow's dinner were ready at the same time, but I didn't even start mine until his were done. Oops. I need four more burners and four more pots. My bad.

So, like I said, I have plans tomorrow night, making it one of those nights that I can't walk. Or can I? I could do one of those walking lunches that I romanticized about a couple of months ago. haha... that still hasn't happened. But we are super slow at work and sitting through lunch at my desk is kind of miserable. So maybe I could give it a try tomorrow. OOOOR, it's possible I may have a just big enough window for a quick walk after work. Definitely if she wants us there at 7:30. But 7 would be pushing it. It takes me close to an hour to get there. So I'll think about that.

When I got home after my walk tonight I was feeling bummed because I wasn't "feeling" the work out. I like having sore abs after a workout or sore arms the next day. But walking... I mean my ankles hurt during the walk, but an hour later all is well. So tonight I decided to do a few crunches and wall pushes (made that up... push ups on the wall instead of the floor... fancy) before I got into my jam jams. Guess what? I feel it! Woohoo! Even though I only did 25 crunches, that's 25 more than I've done in probably a year, so I can feel it! That would be a nice thing to work on each day and slowly grow, huh?

I have to mention this. Tonight, I didn't eat my whole dinner. WHAT??? I know, right!!! Yeah me! I don't think I even ate half! I was so hungry cooking but when I finally sat down to eat, after about 10 bites I was full! It may have something to do with the diet cream soda I sipped while cooking. I know sodas aren't good for me, but when I am hungry but don't want to eat, they really do the trick. I am working on growing out of that though... So anyway, I ate half of my salmon fillet, a few bites of my sugar snap peas and a few bites of my mashed sweet potato and put the rest away. Lunch tomorrow! That was my first time to make sweet potatoes of any sort. I know they pack a lot of vitamins, but it's just not something that we ate growing up. I mean, a few family members order the sweet potato casserole at Boston Market, but mixing sweet and savory isn't typically my thing. Like I don't eat honey flavored meats ever. Sweet meat just ain't my thing! So the sweet potato tonight was... interesting. I didn't really like the sweetness of it with my food. I know it's called "sweet" potato, but I didn't expect it to be quite that sweet. I mean, sugar snap peas taste nothing like sugar! See my logic? hehe. With the right food, I think I would like them though. So I'm going to ponder what to match it with over the next few days... Any suggestions? How do you like your sweet potatoes?

One more shout out to my husband who bought me roses on his day off yesterday. I really appreciated it. I love flowers =-) And I like knowing that he is thinking about me sometimes even when we are apart.

Night blogland!

SImpsons Quote of the Day - 4.28.10

Homer: Carnies built this country. The carnival part of it, anyway.

A Better Day... So Far ;-)

It's too early for me to weigh in this week, but I was happy with the scale this morning. I am definitely going to walk tonight and tomorrow night and hopefully I will have something encouraging to say Friday morning.

I wish that I had a good camera. I want to start reporting my food on here, and I know it's more interesting with pictures! Hmm... I'm going to think about that.

Thank you so much to Kitty who sent me to a helpful website. I can't wait to explore it some more! Anyone else been to weighdown.com?

Happy Wednesday!

Hoping To Find My Stride

I still really like to think about running. It is definitely where I hope to get to. Being a "runner". But right now, I haven't even mastered walking yet!

I'm not sure what it is... why the walking isn't coming easier. Maybe it's the fact that I am tired before I even get to the park. My days feel long right now. I'm trying super hard to be positive! But I gave in once today and sent a grumpy text to John. John (the guy I share an office with) and I vent to each other by texting when we get frustrated at work. Our room is kind of a walkthrough so we are safer texting than talking. Three times yesterday I started to send a text and then stopped because I didn't want to feed the negative attitude, I wanted to smother it! But today I gave in. I get frustrated when it feels like John and I are the only ones really working. That's all I'm going to say because, again, I don't want to feed this attitude! Deep breath.

But anyway. I am reading a book called The Daily 5 right now about fostering literacy in the classroom. (Have I mentioned this already? Forgive me if I have... I'm pretty sure I've only said this to Brett since it occurred to me this weekend.) The authors talk about building stamina. On the first day of school, they don't expect their first graders to be able to sit and read for 30 minutes. They start small and spend time EACH DAY developing habits, and then eventually, what was impossible becomes ordinary. So I was thinking this weekend, maybe if I started walking more frequently it would help me build stamina. This is not a long trail. It's not even a mile. And I usually start out at a good pace, but when I'm through with the first quarter of the loop and I hit that first incline, which is so tiny I'm embarrassed to even mention it, my ankles start to burn. Usually, during the week I just do the half trail. Well, it's probably more than half, but there is a bridge that cuts it probably after 3/5 of the trail. I walk the full thing on weekends but during the week, I take the bridge. But the walking isn't really getting easier yet. I'm not walking frequently enough to build stamina. And I also slow down halfway through. I know that I need to push myself to improve, but most days I just don't feel like I can.

Well today I did. I didn't really feel like walking. Not because I was too tired, but because mentally, I had a trying day. Work was frustrating and I was lonely all day. But in an effort to build my stamina, I want to keep walking daily until I really NEED a day off. I want the walking to be the norm and the day off to be the exception. So instead of my goal being to walk three times a week, my goal is to walk every day that I possibly can. I have walked the past three days, and though I was tired today, I didn't feel unable to walk. I even thought it might make me feel better. Clear my head. So I went. The park was super crowded. The last thing I wanted was to interact with strangers tonight, so I wore my sunglasses. I pushed them up to my hair halfway through the walk, but not to be friendly! Just because it was getting darker. Not only was the park crowded, but people were walking in groups and not moving over when I passed them so I had to walk in the grass. The uneven grass does NOT help my hurting ankles. Come on people! Big girl walking. Clump for goodness sake!

But even though I didn't want to walk tonight and then my walk started out kind of frustrating, I decided to walk the whole loop tonight. My pace slowed too quickly tonight, and I just didn't think I could make my legs move any faster. So I decided to walk the full loop and not worry about my pace, just do my best. I told myself I would feel like I accomplished something when I was done. Huh.

Here's the thing. I would be all kinds of motivated if the activity were having results. But my food has been less than perfect the last couple of weeks, so the activity is not enough to take off pounds yet. I have days where the food is perfect and days where the activity is good, but they haven't both happened together in a few days. I actually found myself tearing up on the way home because I want SO badly to be serious about this. I want to change. I want to be healthy. I have tried and failed so many times to make permanent changes. I don't want this to be another failure. I know it's all part of the journey, and the key is to keep going. I guess what I'm saying is I want to get my act together so it will start having positive effects. I need a little encouragement.

I plan on joining Jazzercise in the next couple of weeks or so. I should have money to join in a couple of weeks... I think. I think that will be good for me. Motivating and hopefully fun. And I think it will push me, ya know? I will have a pace to keep up with that is not determined by my tired ankles.

So that's where I am right now. I am hoping to have a loss to report this Friday. I ate too much for dinner tonight. Two pork tacos when one was plenty! It's because I was craving it. Sometimes when I spend time thinking about food, I plan the experience in advance, and then even if I'm full halfway through, I keep eating because that was my plan. It's terrible. I need to brake that way of thinking.

Salmon again tomorrow. And lots of veggies! I need to eat more veggies.

SImpsons Quote of the Day - 4.27.10

Homer: Trying is the first step towards failure.

A Cabbage Patch Parade

When I was a kid, I had a really great pediatrician. Well, he had one line of humor, but because I was so young, it totally worked on me! When he checked my ears, he always said "Hey! There's a Cabbage Patch Kids parade walking through here!" Every time. Or Care Bears or Smurfs. He always made me feel safe.

I can't remember when we stopped making regular doctor visits, but I was young enough that I don't remember. Hospitals just aren't a place for people without insurance. Certainly not for a mother with four children! When we got sick, we took Tylenol. Or Dimeatapp... whatever Doctor Mom prescribed. So as an adult, making doctors appointments wasn't really something I knew how to do.

I had insurance at a part time job briefly in 2004. I got really sick that year. In fact, for several years in a row, I got a bad case of bronchitis. That year, I was really sick and I had insurance, but I still didn't really know what to do. Luckily, I was living with a roommate who did. Jenina called her doctors office and asked if they took my insurance, and then she made me an appointment and I went. I was terrified! Shook the whole time I filled out my paperwork. But it was an okay experience and my feet were officially wet. But then I quit that part time job and didn't have insurance for a few years. Never having had it before, I just didn't realize how big a deal having insurance was.

Well now I am married, so I'm on my husband's insurance. We took him to the doctor a month or so ago and I went with him, a) because he was too sick to drive himself, and b) to meet our doctor! I liked her just fine! And she told me I needed to make an appointment. You know. A check up. Is that what it's called when you go to the doctor when you're not sick?

I went yesterday and I just have to say how thankful I am! First of all, the nurse is SO nice! It was the same nurse we saw when Brett was sick. What a sweetie! And the doctor... she is so easy to talk to! I was a little nervous going, but as soon as I was in the room with them, I was comfortable. I know they train very hard to develop their "make people comfortable" skills, but these two ladies have it down! And I'm incredibly thankful for that.

So yesterday I went to my first ever grown up doctors appointment, just because. hehe... I have to go back today though. I didn't really know what all my visit would entail yesterday. Apparently I was supposed to not eat anything yesterday morning so they could do lab work. Oops! I missed that. But she said that you don't need an appointment for labs, and they open at 7 so I am just going on my way to work today. Nice!

Last thing: shout out to my husband. HAPPY STREET FIGHTER DAY!!! Mwaa!

Weekly Weigh In 4.23.10

241

I know I shouldn't be pleased by that number because it is up .4 from last week, but I didn't manage my food very well last weekend and I spent all week trying to make up for that. So I guess I'm saying, it could have been worse.

We are eating out tonight but I already know what I'm ordering. I actually think I pretty much know what my meals will be this weekend, and that's a good thing. It may rain Saturday, but I hope it's not too hard to walk in!

Gained a lot of perspective last night. Yesterday was a very contemplative day. I'll fill you in later! (Duh... can't shut me up these days! Sorry for the long posts... my head has been way too full!)

Ugh!

I hate when I let one tiny thing ruin my day. One rude comment or one mistake. I do this ALL THE TIME! What the heck???

Everyone makes mistakes. John says "if you never make mistakes, you're not working hard enough". And he's right. It's just a natural occurrence. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how much you pay attention, things slip through. So why does one wrong decision on a tiny little job make me feel like a complete idiot??? It's not a big deal! It took us fifteen minutes to fix it!

Shake is off Kim!

Blah

I started the day feeling very in love. It's been a while since I've had that newlywed "I can conquer the world because I'm so in love" feeling. Not because I'm any less in love, life has just thrown us some crazy circumstances lately. But last night was good. Just some very honest heart felt time. We have been lacking in quality time lately. Mostly my fault. But that's life. But I was all smiles driving to work today.

I'm also getting excited about my birthday. Not because I'm doing anything elaborate, but I know that Brett and I will have a fun day of celebrating in a few weeks when I turn 29. And I have my actual birthday off from work. It's a Monday and we're slow so I decided to take it off. I'm starting to think about how I want to spend that day and it's SO exciting to plan a day all to myself! I know I want to buy some books (hopefully with some birthday money from the MIL) and eat somewhere tasty and see a movie. Very vague plans so far, but every day I get more and more excited! And then I'll be celebrating with some girlfriends a few weeks after the big 29 by going to see Sex In The City 2. Have I already mentioned this? It's totally possible because I am crazy excited!

AND I am planning some scrapbooking soon. I haven't done anything crafty since Christmas and I'm REALLY itching for some cutting and gluing action. So I am making Brett's mom a book for mother's day. So that's exciting.

So I had a few happy thoughts in my head this morning. "Wha happen?"

This afternoon I'm feeling kind of lonely. I'm glad it's the middle of Wednesday and the week is half over, but for some reason, right now, I feel lonely. I used to get random emails throughout the day. But now I pretty much never do. Email replaced mail and now Facebook and Twitter have replaced email. I miss the emails. I miss it most on days where people are kind of crappy to me at work. Sigh. I need a Brett hug. Come on 5:30.

I have nothing to complain about. I'm glad I posted this because it reminded me of this morning's happy thoughts. Maybe I can refocus now.

A Few Random Rabbits

Rabbit #1:

I went to a funeral today. Her name was Lindsey. She was 21. Car accident. I have "known" her for several because she was a youth at our church. But I didn't really know her until a few years ago when she played a part in the Christmas pageant that my friend Jared and I wrote and directed at our church. It was her senior year in high school and she was great =-) But let me back up. Even before I knew Lindsey, she was endearing to me. Lindsey looks like my sister Laura. I mean, like, from the back, when I would see her at church, I always thought it was Laura! And they have similar smiles. And she was sassy like Laura and loud like Laura and friendly like Laura. So even before I knew Lindsey, I was always happy to see her around. But then she auditioned for the role of "bratty teenager" in our play. What a HOOT! She was hilarious! She had the eye roll down like MJ doin' the moonwalk! It was totally second nature. And she changed one line. I can't remember what it was now, but I remember Jared and I laughed so hard. It was something she said while she was talking back to her "mom" and we liked it so much that, on the nights that I filled in reading her part because she had a student council activity, I said it just like her.

Lindsey was great. And today I realized just how many people knew that.

I have never seen so many people inside my old church sanctuary. We got there 30 minutes early and every seat was full and there probably 150 people milling around the small foyer in the back. We made our way over to the doorway on the far side, just to peek inside, and ended up being lucky enough to stand there during the service so we could see inside and feel the air conditioning. People were lined against both walls the entire length of the sanctuary. They filled the choir loft, there were easily 150-200 people in the foyer and they opened up the back doors so people standing outside could hear. It was amazing.

So many times we fall into funks and start to see our lives as insignificant. But that is never true. No matter who you are, you impact people. You interact with people in your daily life and, one way or another, you leave an impression on them. I had no idea there would be that many people there today. I haven't been to very many funerals. Growing up, the thought of them made me really uncomfortable, so I didn't really go to one until I felt like I had to. When Russ, the man at our church who acted as photographer for the youth group for a decade or two, passed away, I had to his funeral. I truly loved him. He was a wonderful man and to not go, when he made such an impact on my life, would be wrong. Then a couple years later I went to my grandfather's funeral. And today, I felt like I should go. It's probably been two years since I've seen Lindsey, but in the short time that we were friends, I grew to care about her. And her little brother was a part of my choir when I directed the middle school choir for a couple of years. Tyler is a good kid. Mischievous, like his sister, but a really good kid. I can't imagine losing one of my sisters. I think it was considering Tyler's loss that really made me want to go.

Rabbit #2:

So I didn't get to work until almost noon. It was a quiet day. We are slow and probably will be for the next month or so. My boss is going out of town for most of the third week in May. I'm really looking forward to that. It's always slow for several weeks leading up to our big summer project. And even though I have no reason to feel this way, because NO ONE has anything to do, I get really uncomfortable when there isn't a job for me to work on. I still have no idea when or how exactly I'm going to tell my boss that I will be leaving in the middle of that project. She has to know. I do most of the work and if I suddenly left when the work is half done, it would be absolute chaos. I don't love my job, but I have no desire to leave anyone hurting when I go. So there's that to figure out. Which leads to...

Rabbit #3:

There is another job fair this weekend for a nearby distract. But I didn't realize until Sunday afternoon that it is invite only. I got online to apply for the district online. I had to do that for my city before I could attend the job fair, so I figured it was the same most places. When I went to the website and clicked on the "job fair" link it said that the event was invite only. You submit your application for the district online and if they want you to come, they will email you. They will be extending invites until tomorrow. I completed the application last night. Didn't hear anything today. I need to figure out what other districts to apply to. I really want to teach in the city where I live. I grew up here. I care about this community. And it's the only place that I know any teachers, and people swear that knowing teachers helps you become a teacher. I sure hope that's true. But I had considered a few other districts that I thought would be good options. They're not too far and they're mostly nicer areas. Well, two of them, I found out, don't hire alternative certification teachers in their first year of teaching. You have to work somewhere else first. And the other one is supposedly only hiring from within the district this year. There's kind of an overflow of applicants these days. A lot of people with a college degree who suddenly found themselves needing work decided to go for teaching because they couldn't find jobs anywhere else. And on the same note, teachers are no longer retiring as soon as the opportunity presents itself because the economy is rocky – people are scared to be out of work. All I can do is my best. I don't want to sit and worry... but I also want to make sure I'm taking the right steps. Right now I'm reading a teacher book that someone recommended to me. I'm only a few pages in and it's great so far. And I have another book waiting to be read. I should have read these books sooner. I would have had better answers for some of the questions this weekend. But like I said... I don't want to sit and worry. I can't change the past. I just want to move forward the best way I can.

And now for the final Rabbit:

I love the park. Tonight was the most crowded I've seen it. So far, I have gone around 10:00 on Saturdays, around 4:00 this past Saturday (but that doesn't really count because it was raining. I had a glorious walk in a nice light rain and the park was practically deserted. But it won't be like that normally) around 5:30 on weeknights and around 8:00 on a weeknight. Tonight I went at 7:00 and it was packed! There was a game of cricket going AND a game of soccer AND a game of basketball! And SOOO many people on the playground. Tons of walkers, one fisherman, and several people feeding the ducks. And I've decided I like the nutria! They are really adorable. The only thing on them that I don't like is their long thick tails, but tonight I didn't see any tails. Only cute beaver like little bodies. And I like 'em! And I thought about it... ducks are naturally aggressive, and these ducks don't blink an eye at the nutria. They just hang out together! So that made me feel better about them too. Random, I know. I love being at the park though. I like being one of the regulars there. I don't know if I really count as a regular yet, but I will. At least, that's the plan.

It's still embarrassing... I'm so out of shape. I only walk the full trail on Saturdays. During the week I stop at the bridge. I'd like to keep going, but my ankles are SCREAMING! I've always had ankle trouble when I walk. They burn like crazy. But there are all types of people walking there, so I'm not embarrassed or anything. And it's so beautiful. I always intend to use that time to pray, and I usually start out that way, but there are so many beautiful things to pull my attention. I always end up just looking around. I love the ducks. And the pigeons are so colorful. Pigeons used to drive me crazy because they don't get out of the way for cars, but up close, pigeons are so pretty! All different colors around their neck. Pink and purple and blue... but you can only see it in the light. It's lovely. And I LOVE the turtles. Who doesn't love turtles? And the man who feeds the turtles. What the heck does he feed them? They love it! He must have had 30 turtles in the water in front of him tonight. I can't tell what it is he gives them but he loves it. And I can hear him from across the creek saying "come here! come here!" to the turtles who are being shy. And the kids... my goodness. SO CUTE!

Anyway. It was an interesting day. My husband is gloomy tonight. He says he's just bored but I'm worried he feels neglected, so I'm going to go cheer him up.

Oh, one last thing! I finally made salmon tonight! Verdict: GOOD! We both liked it! I made it exactly how Laura did a few weeks ago. She enjoyed it so she told me what she did and I copied it tonight and it was great! Just heated up some chopped garlic and red pepper flakes in a little oil, sprinkled a little salt and pepper on the salmon fillets and gave them a squirt of lemon juice and then let them cook. It was super easy and not half bad! It feels so good to eat something that I know is good for me!

Michael Scott Words of Wisdom - 12

"Yesterday I was scraping some gunk off my wall sockets with a metal fork and I gave myself the nastiest shock. When I came to, I had an epiphery. Life is precious and if I die, I want my son to know the dealio. The dealio of life."

For All The Twilight Fans

I'm probably the last person to see this, but just in case you haven't, it's hilarious! If you like Twilight, check it out. Taylor Swift is hilarious.

Firelight

Does This Ever Happen To You?

In the quiet moments of my day (we're slow at work right now, so I've got lots of quiet moments!) my mind is filled with ideas and thoughts about getting/being healthier. Getting up at 5:00 every morning to walk at the park and then getting to work early so I can leave at lunch every day and take an hour lunch break, like I would do if I weren't late to work every day and end up needing to work through lunch. And then come home and prepare a well balanced meal with plenty of protein and tons of veggies with fruit for dessert. And spend the evening doing something creative or self improving, or just something nice for my husband. And then the end of the day comes and it's hectic and I'm tired and there is laundry to do and dishes to wash and floors in desperate need of vacuuming. So I'm up later than I should be after being productive, but not always enriching, and then I wake up late and start the day feeling behind. How can I be behind EVERY day??? Really?

It's not every day. Some days work out. But I really need to take some time to set some goals. Concrete goals with achievable ends. I say that a lot. But I mean it. I NEED to do this. Get my mind organized before I go crazy! Sigh.

Mixed Emotions

I think I'm just tired. I have absolutely nothing to be upset about. I'm just always extra emotional when I'm tired. And I should be tired. It's been a long journey to get to this point. At least, it has felt long. I'm sure education majors who spend four years preparing to be a teacher before they go to a job fair would laugh at me for calling my journey long. But it was a lot of work for a newlywed with a full time job. And I did it all by myself. And sometimes it was lonely and sometimes it was scary. So I am okay with feeling spent.

There was one moment yesterday where I felt like a complete idiot. When I got to the front of a line to make an appointment. I was expecting the woman to say something (like all of the other tables) but apparently she was expecting me to say something so she just looked at me like I was an idiot. Like I had walked in on her in the bathroom or something. Just like "what the heck are you doing here?" I wish I hadn't had that moment. And then she asked for my resume and EVERY other table that I went to was taking resumes DURING the appointments, not before. So I didn't have one in my hand. It was in my handy dandy little file folder/purse in one which is easy to use when it is sitting on something, but not easy to pull things out of when you are standing up and have to open the latch and watch the accordion style file folder open and pray that the papers in it that you have so carefully prepared and organized don't spill out all over the dirty floor. So it was just awkward. That's also the school that didn't want my portfolio. They just wanted resumes. And they wanted them before the face-to-face. Not a big deal. I was somewhat awkward, but it wasn't anything to cry over... and I haven't cried. Yet. But I wish I could get her expression out of my head.

Sigh.

Typing the word "sigh" always makes me take a deep breath. It's calming. One more, shall we?

Sigh.

I don't really know what I'm feeling. I had zero expectations of getting hired yesterday. It's just extremely rare at the job fair. And though it's less rare, it's also very uncommon for a principal to be called over to talk with a candidate on the spot. It happens... that's what the principals are there for. But I never saw it happen in person. I heard about it... and I saw a girl yesterday right after she was hired. But she was already a teacher. She had four years teaching experience and an "in" with a principal, so she got hired as a kindergarten teacher yesterday. Lucky.

I've received a couple of pieces of advice in the last 24 hours. One, get ESL certified. I have no idea what that entails, but I'm sure it's worth looking into. I am "monolingual". Hadn't heard that word before yesterday, but that's me. I only speak English. I wish that I spoke EVERY language, and after seeing the movie The Matrix, I always said that someday, when it became a possibility, I would download every language into my brain so that I could speak all million languages. But I have never seriously tried to learn another language. I took two years of Spanish in high school and it was challenging. I was good enough to test out of taking it again in college, but just barely. And now I don't remember much. But it would definitely help me get a job and be a more effective teacher for some students.

I've also been told some other districts that I should consider. The Grapevine/Colleyville job fair is next Saturday. That's not too far of a drive, so I had considered attending that job fair. I just went to the website and it is an invite only job fair. You apply online and then if they are interested in you, you get invited to the job fair. Hmph. I started to fill out the application and on the third screen it told me that it could not save my information because someone else was already using that account. WHAT? I just created it! No one else is using it. What's wrong with you? I logged out and tried again but it gave me the same message. I will try again tonight. Maybe it's prejudice and wants me to use Internet Explorer. Blah. It's helpful that Brett is a PC user. Every now and then I find a website that isn't Mac friendly. I try very hard not to turn my nose up at those websites. I don't want to be a Mac snob. Grrr.

I have some things to do today. What I would like to do is have a good cry (just for some emotional release), sleep for about three hours, go to the grocery store and spend an hour or so reading all the blogs that have been posted over the weekend. That's definitely not what the rest of my day is going to look like, but Brett is laying down, so I may go join him for a bit and then get busy.

My birthday is coming up and since it is on a Monday this year, I decided to take a vacation day to celebrate starting my final year as a 20 something. I sure am ready for a day off. It's getting closer, but it's still a few weeks away. Sigh.

First Job Fair

The best thing I can say is its over.

It wasn't terrible. I did the best I could. But I felt pretty unimpressive. Irving did a great job organizing the job fair. Everyone working it was very nice and helpful. But some of the teachers doing the interviews seemed bored... I hope it wasn't just me. I was friendly and honest and had some good things to say. No one did cartwheels over me, but I think it was okay. Most of the schools only had bilingual positions open so far. Teachers have until 30 days before the school year begins to notify their principals that they are leaving, so positions will continue to open all summer. The goal of today was to drop off some resumes and try to make a good impression.

I'm glad a bought a suit. It was hot a few times, but in the end, Brett really liked it on me, so it paid off =-) I was glad that I made portfolios, but no one looked at them today. They were only interested in resumes. It may or may not get looked at down the road when principals are looking through stacks of resumes. One school handed it right back to me when I handed it to her. She said "We just want resumes. We're trying to cut down on our paper intake." Really? You don't want the portfolio that I worked on for two weeks? Okay. Thanks a lot.

I talked to 5 schools. The way Irving does it is they give you 4 tickets that get you into interviews when you get there. Then you walk around and sign up for appointments at the schools that you want to talk to and you give them a ticket. Well, the first school that I wanted to talk to was telling everyone to keep their tickets because they didn't have any positions open, so they wanted us to save them for other schools. I thought that was really cool. I still wanted to talk to that school because it's where I went to elementary school, and I know that positions will open. But that left me with another ticket, so I ended up at 5 schools. I knew some teachers in some of the rooms, but I didn't get to talk to any of them. Blah. We were just sent to whatever desk was the next available.

My plan was to leave a resume at every school, but when I was ready to do that, some of the schools were already packing up to go. Darn.

I understand limiting how many people we can talk to. Because so many people show up, it's impossible for every applicant to talk to every school. But if some schools were packing up at 2:30, they could have seen more people. Make it 8-5, not 9:30-2:30. That was my only complaint though. They fed us tasty sandwiches for lunch at no charge, and they let people park somewhere else and shuttled them to the school when the parking lot was full.

That's how many people were there. I got there an hour early and there were probably 150 people in line in front of me and they were directing cars to the parking lots at the nearby college. I decided a couple of days ago to have Brett drop me off because it was supposed to rain today. I remember last year seeing people walk from surrounding buildings in the rain. I didn't want that to happen. So he dropped me off and that made a huge difference! I'm glad that I wasn't late because I was walking from the college down the street!

Thanks to everyone who gave me advice and encouragement these last few months. I took it one step at a time, and this was the final step that I had a plan for. After today, I'm really just guessing. After seeing how many people were there today, talking to schools with no positions available, I think I should go ahead and apply at other districts. Irving is really where I want to be and the man said that before the next school year, they would hire 2-300 new teachers, so not to be discouraged by the crowd, but still... I've been saying all along that if I don't get hired I will just sub, but financially, that would be really difficult for us. I think I would need to sub and work somewhere else part time. I would much prefer ONE job and I want that job to be teaching. I know that God has a plan. Marie told me to rest in the peace of that knowledge. That's my plan.

Thanks again. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. It's beautiful here. It was supposed to rain all day, but it was just barely starting to sprinkle when we left the job fair. It's still just barely sprinkling and there is a lovely breeze. I decided to go for a walk when I got home and I'm glad I did. It felt good. And the park was practically empty because people were expecting rain. Nice =-)

Peace out playas!

Pick Me!!!

Ali is having an awesome giveaway on her blog! Who new Mario was so helpful! I need that lunch bag in my life! Well, maybe not need, but I could sure use it ;-)

Go check it out here!

Weekly Weigh In 4.16.10

240.6

Better =-)

It was a good week. I hope I have another good one. Money is TIGHT this week! I need to plan our groceries super carefully, and we won't be eating out anywhere with servers! Maybe Chipotle tonight.

SOOOO sleepy. Wish I were in bed. I dreamed Jared was directing the Christmas pageant and wanted me to be in it, but they were performing it all day Christmas Eve, and that's when my family celebrates. Funny =-)

Happy Friday! Pray for me tomorrow!

Rodents of Unusual Size?

They DO exist! I saw some at the park yesterday!

Okay so, I am LOVING this walking trail at the park near my casa. It's just really pretty. And there are always tons of families there! For two weeks now, I have walked three times a week. Can't tell you the last time that was the case. It's been a loooooong time. Sad but true.

I go Saturday mornings and then two nights a week right after work. But last night I had a TON to do (I wanted to finish my portfolio) so I came home and started dinner right away. But then after dinner, I had had such a good day, I really didn't want to skip out on the activity. And there was still some daylight outside, so I thought I would go for a quick walk. On Saturday mornings there are maybe a couple dozen people there. Some walking or jogging on the trail, some fishing in the creek and some just laying in the grass. During the week there are probably a hundred people there! Tons of families on the playground and people playing basketball on the small court. And then the walkers, joggers and fishers. Yes, I said fishers. So when I went at 8:00 last night I was thinking it might be less crowded. Not that there isn't plenty of room for 100 people. There is. But still, I just thought that people might be headed home by 8:00.

Wrong again! The park was the most crowded I had seen it. In addition to all of the people, there are always at least 100 pigeons (not sure why I'm throwing out the numbers tonight... it's not like I've counted. I'm just trying to paint a picture!) and probably half that many ducks. People feed them and they just walk around quacking. And then the turtles. The turtles are my favorite. Lots of turtles too.

Last night, there was a new addition. I walked past the first pack of ducks, which were pretty close to my car, and I noticed they had a few little fury companions with them. My first thought was beavers? Which made no sense. But they were so big! Then I noticed that they had long skinny tails. Much like... rat tails. But no. These couldn't be giant rats, could they? If they were giant rats, people wouldn't be glancing at them so casually, as if they hadn't noticed them. So then I thought possums? But I've seen possums before! Only at night running across the street, but I've seen them enough to, on second thought, decide these were not possums. So what else could they be? They were HUGE! And they were scattered around the park, in groups of three and four, just hanging out with the birds eating the bread crumbs that visitors had scattered. There was just no way that no one would be reacting to them if they were huge rats. I mean HUGE! So I decided to just declare them R.O.U.S.s and pretend that they are something else.

When I told my mom and Brett about them at dinner tonight, Brett said he knows what they are. Large rat-like rodents that start with the letter N. But he couldn't think of the name. Anyone know what these animals are and how they escaped from the fire swamp?

Anyway. It's been a weird week. Work is weird for Brett and my mind is so full. I don't think either one of us has been as there for each other as we needed this week. What can I say? That's life. This whole "one flesh" thing is tricky sometimes. But as of an hour or so ago, my portfolios are assembled and ready to go. They don't look all that impressive to me, but honestly, they're kind of just a prop. All that the people on Saturday will be interested in is my resume and my attitude. The portfolio is just to show that I put some effort into preparing and that I've taken the steps to be eligible for teaching. But I feel much more prepared having something to hand out. I have also decided what schools I'm going to talk to. There are 20 elementary schools in Irving. I thought there were more =-( But I will only be able to talk to 4 on Saturday. At least, that is how it has been in the past, or so I've been told. But there may be chances for me to leave my resume with other schools. It will just go into a stack with other resumes, but at least it will be on file somewhere.

I hope that tomorrow passes quickly and painlessly. Today was not as long as yesterday (in my mind) but it was not what I would call painless. Work is just... well... not great. There's no point in complaining. It's where I am right now. I'm trying to change careers and make something better, but I have to trust God to move me at the right time.

I'm off to read a little before I go to bed. Have I mentioned I'm reading Jurassic Park? Dinosaurs are FINALLY killing people. It's about time!

Sweet dreams bloggers!

My Crazy Weekend Spilled Over...

It's 9:15 and we just got home. I have plenty of work to do, but I don't see that happening tonight.

Like I said yesterday, there was a lot of time spent productively this weekend, but I didn't get everything done that I wanted to. One of those things was grocery shopping. We always shop on the weekends because we buy our food one week at a time. So if we don't get to go over the weekend, I either shop on my way home from work on Monday, or we eat out. Well we are really trying to limit our eating out, so shopping trip it was!

I made the oriental chicken and rice dish that I have had twice now but Brett had yet to try. Both times that I made it before, he was sick and just wanted soup. He liked the dinner so it is officially in the rotation now. Woohoo!

So since I shopped after work, I didn't get home until 6:30. I had to put up dishes before I could start dinner, so I did dishes and then dinner was ready at 7:30 or so. I was hoping that we would finish just in time and there would be light left for me to walk, but there wasn't. It was dark. And Kroger didn't have the makeup that I needed so when we finished dinner, we headed to Target. Now we are home and both so tired!

Tomorrow I am going to walk after work, for sure, and then experiment with salmon for dinner. After that I need to type up a sample lesson plan and start my class newsletter. Those are the last two things I need to make for my portfolio. I want to finish on Wednesday night, but it may be Thursday... and then I will need to get the newsletters printed at Kinko's (we have a laser printer, so it's black and white only) and make some copies of my transcript.

I sho am tired! I hope everyone's week started well. I am kind of in a state of... I don't know... mental numbness. If I think too much I get super nervous so I'm trying to just... not think? haha. I'm not saying this right. I think that means it's time to go to bed. Thank goodness!

I Was A Princess!!!

FULL weekend! And unfortunately, though lots of time was spent productively, I didn't get as much done as I had hoped.

Fun things first: Saturday was my college roomie's birthday! Jage was turning 29 and to do something fun and different she decided to celebrate royally! At Medieval Times =-) How fun is this? A lot of people roll their eyes at this place, but being my first trip there, I was BLOWN AWAY by the amount of work that goes into it all. It was so much fun! Everyone was in character, calling us "my lord" and "my lady". And then the show was SO fun! We got to cheer for our knight (GO GREEN) who ended up being the villain that night, so he got lots of attention. FUN! I had a really good time. I always have fun when I'm with my college friends. Krista and Lenora were HILARIOUS booing during the introductions. And... go ahead, you can laugh... I bought a princess hat. They were so cute and I decided it could be a fun prop for my classroom, so Brett let me buy one. Here is a pic of me with my royal hubs!

Admit it.

We're cute.

That was Saturday night. Saturday day was a different story. I did get up and walk like I had planned to. And then I got ready for an afternoon of hunting. My prey? A suit. Yupp. I needed a suit for the job fair. The HR guy was very stern on that point. Wear a suit. Um... we wear jeans where I work. So I had never bought a suit before. And it was quite a trip. All in all, I went to 5 stores and ended up with the cheapest suit that Dillard's carries. It was still kind of pricey, and not on sale like so many suits at others stores, but it was by FAR the best fit I found. Perfect length for my short legs. I still needed a dress shirt and shoes, but that had to wait until today.

This morning, Brett and I slept a little late (SO tired from our evening of yelling at men in knight costumes) so we went to the third service and then to Boston's for a tasty lunch. After lunch I took Brett home and continued with "Hunt for Interview Outfit". Today I only went to three stores and when it was all said and done I had an outfit that passed the test when my sisters came over to check it out. (Thanks Laura and Jenna!)

So... I just finished printing what I have ready so far for my portfolios. It was a lot. But I still need sample lesson plans and a few other classroom things, and letters of recommendation from a couple of people who are planning to write one for me. It's going to be a crazy week. I know my nervousness will continue to grow as the day gets nearer, but this time next week, my first job fair will be done. I REALLY want to get hired in Irving. Really. I hope it goes well.

Weekly Weigh In 4.9.10

242.6

I thought it would be worse.

Challenges this weekend: we will be eating at Medieval Times Saturday night. haha... how to count that? I'm just going to eat as little as possible and enjoy the show!

Happy Friday =-)

Almost Friday

Man, what a week. Parts of it flew by and parts of it REALLY dragged. Work is not great right now. I'm trying to focus on what is hopefully the near future, where I will be in a new job. I don't know why I let co-workers comments get to me. After all these years, I should know better. But I seemed to be especially sensitive this week. Menstrual maybe?

Anyway.

Activity was better this week. =-) I said that I would walk three times this week. I walked Monday and last night and I plan to walk Saturday morning, so that's three. I feel pretty confident saying that those three times can be regular walking days for me. I would like to build from there, but right now, a lap around this gorgeous park is quite refreshing. It feels so good to move.

On the food front, it's kind of bizarre. My days are GREAT! My new protein packed breakfast sandwich is GREATNESS! It keeps me full and energized til lunch. In fact, I'm eating lunch later than usual because I'm just not hungry yet. But our dinners are still sometimes experimental. I feel like we are planning really balanced meals that always include a vegetable, but I have still ended up going over on my points a few times this week. I have good goals in place for next week though. In addition to walking at least three times, I want to track every day and go an ENTIRE week staying within my points. That used to be effortless for me! Now, it practically seems impossible. But it will happen. Oh yes, it will.

Also, I have seriously upped my water intake. Brett and I bought a couple of $5 water bottles a few weeks ago and it has been a great tool for me! I realized at work today that it's pretty much an adult sippy cup. haha. Whatever works!

Hope everyone's week finishes well! I'll be weighing in tomorrow morning, but I'll tell you right now, I know I'm in the 240s. The numbers are being a little obnoxious lately. But I still feel like I'm making progress. So today, in this moment, it's not about the number. And I'm weighing in tomorrow so that we can all rejoice NEXT Friday when the number goes down. So there.

Peace out playas!

And Tomorrow Is A New Day

Life has been so weird these last few weeks. I've just been so out of sorts. I've spoken extensively in the past about how I don't always deal with change well. The career change is all kinds of scary, but I've been taking it one step at a time, and up to this point it's been a lot of prep and not a lot of action. But the action is coming! I'm nervous, but at the same time, moving closer and closer to ready. I know that my idea of "normal" will be changing soon, and it's a change that I'm looking forward to in many aspects. I was totally overcome by a warm fuzzy feeling in church this morning when I thought about teaching. I don't just want to be a teacher, I want to be a GOOD teacher. A teacher that makes children love to learn. The teacher that I was blessed to have more than once, who made me feel valued and showed me the value in learning. That's what I want to be. And I know that it will take several years to get there, but it suddenly feels attainable. Like a truly possible future for me, and not just a fairy tale.

I sure have missed reading everyone's blogs. And I knew it! I just knew that after being out of the loop for a few weeks, I would come back to my favorite blogs and everyone would have experienced all kinds of major life changes! Well, not everyone, but a few people! People who are complete strangers to me, but who I somehow have come to care about. They have been in my shoes before (as far as a weight loss journey goes) and that makes me feel like they understand me in ways that some people who know me in real life, never will. I gain comfort from them and TONS of motivation and hope.

So as of tomorrow, I hope to be back to reading the blogs that I follow.

My goals this week are to walk three times, eat healthy portions at dinner, start reading the two education books I've bought, and be prepared to print my job fair things on Saturday. I want to end the weekend physically prepared so that I can spend the week leading up to the job fair getting mentally prepared.

I had another good talk with the hubs tonight. I've come to some interesting realizations recently. Things that I can't post on the blog because... well, I just can't. They are the kind of things that, if I were in therapy, would be total "aha moment"s. But I needed to verbalize them, and as I don't have a journal right now, I wanted to say them to Brett. God blessed us with some tender moments this weekend and I am feeling somewhat cleansed. Not completely because I've eaten too much the last four meals. Go figure. But tomorrow is a new day. And I am feeling kind of tender, but also hopeful. I want to make good choices this week. I want to focus on meaningful things and not trivial things.

I think I will start out by getting to bed at decent time tonight. That means I need to be in bed ten minutes ago. But I'm not too late... so off I go. Hope every had a good weekend.

A Perfect Day

Weather wise, that is. It was such a beautiful day. We had some hard rain early in the morning yesterday, but it didn't last long and the sun dried up most of the water before the day was over. Today was cool and breezy and blue and BEAUTIFUL! We have had some really strong wind lately! Today was not crazy wind, just breezy. I woke up at 9:10. Brett was still peacefully sleeping so I brought my book to bed (I'm reading an old favorite, Jane Eyre) and read until Brett woke up at 10.

I could tell it was a nice day before I even stepped out of bed. The people above us have a wind chime. It's been going crazy the last few weeks! The wind keeps it singing night and day! But this morning is was just a slow soft tinkling, and as I lay in bed slowly waking, my thoughts turned to the park. You know the one. The park that I mentioned was near my apartment that I recently discovered has a GREAT walking trail around it. I was planning to go there at lunch yesterday and and see if it would fit into my lunch break. But then it rained all morning and I had a project at work that I wanted to get done. I was hoping we would close early. We had work to do all morning, but nothing new came in, so I was hoping when we finished our work, we would leave. We all had family members with the day off, since it was Good Friday. But we didn't leave until 4:15. And I was tired! Dead tired! I have been doing classes every night this week. I should have done it weeks ago. But the last few weeks I'd been doing a class every few days. Well the job fair is two weeks from today and I need the letter, that says that I've completed my certification program, to go in my portfolio. Well, the website only generates the letter when you actually finish the program! So that was my goal this week. And finally, I got it done. Even with taking Brett's mom to the store on Tuesday and having dinner with my family and coffee with Jennifer on Thursday. So I had several late nights this week. Driving to work Friday, my eyes were begging me for a rest! Not a good sign before I even get to work, and definitely not a good thing while I'm driving.

But it wasn't a terrible day. It felt long, but it wasn't terrible. And last night Brett and I totally took it easy. We usually go out to eat on Friday nights because we are both tired from a long week at work. But last night, we were too tired to even leave the house. In fact, we had to take a nap before we could even think about dinner. I'm serious. That's how tired I was! I got home at 4:30 and went straight to bed. Brett joined me and we slept until 6. After that we planned to order pizza and watch a movie on pay-per-view. But the movie we were hoping to find, Men Who Stare at Goats, isn't on pay-per-view right now. Go figure! And nothing was on either. (Tonight there are tons of good movies on! Pretty Woman, The Two Towers, AND Aladdin. Nice!) So we ended up watching a movie that I was interested in when I saw the trailer ages ago, and picked up at Fry's around the holidays when we saw the Blu-ray on sale for $12.99. It's called Sunshine Cleaning. I really like Amy Adams, so I wanted to see it. It stars her, Emily Blunt, Steve Zahn and Alan Alda. How can that be bad? Well, it wasn't bad, but it was kind of a downer. Not depressing, but it had a lot of sad themes, and unlike movies like Garden State, or The Royal Tenenbaums (I'm too tired to make sure I'm spelling that right... sorry) that break up the sadness with humor, this movie was mostly just sad. Good performances from several actors, but not the most exciting choice for a Friday night. Despite the movie though, we had a great night. A nice calm night filled with rest and some really good conversation to boot! How can I complain???

And this morning I walked =-) Laying in bed, listening to my husbands soft snores and the wind swishing the wind chime outside, I thought, "I should start my day with a walk". So I did =-) Finally. The first form of exercise I've done in over a month, I'm sure. When I got home, Brett and I made sandwiches and ate lunch outside on the patio. It was great.

And then... I FINISHED MY PROGRAM!!! I did my last class Thursday night, but I still had 6 hours of online observation to do. Much more low-key than the classes. I just hit play and let it go. I only watched 4 videos to fulfill my 6 hours, and honestly, parts of it were really interesting. The first one was a PE class, the second a choir class, and then I saw two math classes that were so different, it was really neat to compare the two. I also wrote all of our grocery lists for the month while they played, so it was greatness!

I love having a monthly meal calendar. We used one in March and now again this month, and it is my hope that we will continue this throughout our marriage. It's a huge help when it comes to grocery shopping, and it keeps us from eating the same thing over and over all month.

Happy Easter =-) I hope you celebrate with loved ones and you remember that our Lord is Risen.